None of us want interpersonal violence to exist here at Princeton; to ensure that, we all have to do something! To help empower everyone in the campus community to intervene, students from SHARE and UMatter have come together to create the Top 60 Ways to Stop Interpersonal Violence at Princeton.
These are tried and true interventions that you can add to your playbook. Some are serious, some are silly; all help stop interpersonal violence on campus. We've broken the list down into different situations where you might want to intervene - check it out and take note of your favorite tactics!
You can always:
1. Delegate to a SHARE Peer
2. Call P-Safe
On the dancefloor:
3. Find the officer on duty and ask them for help
4. "I think your roommate is looking for you!"
5. "Are you ok?"
6. *Thumbs up/down?*
7. Find a bouncer and let them know about the situation
8. "Oops! Sorry I spilled my drink on you!"
9. "Could you come to the bathroom with me?"
10. “I have something I really need to talk to you about!“
11. Dance wildly near couple
12. "Let’s go to Terrace!"
13. Pretend one person is in your precept and ask them about the reading
14. Hug your friend (or pretend the person is your friend)! Hugs are great distractions.
15. *Accidently* bump into one person and then ask if they are OK
16. Pretend to have a relationship emergency and need help/emotional support
17. “This [random] person is creeping on me, will you help me get out of here?"
18. Side-step your way behind the possible perpetrator and signal from behind to ask if things are okay.
19. Compliment one person’s outfit choice/haircut
20. “I think the back of your shirt/skirt/pants/leggings is ripped! You should go check that out!”
Walking down Prospect:
21. "Hey they look drunk, can I help you take them to McCosh?"
22. Pretend to know someone, then quietly ask how they're doing
23. "Hey! Can one of you take our picture?"
24. "Want to go get pizza with us? I'll buy!"
25. "Is anyone going to the slums?!" *move between couple*
26. Ask whether a specific club is open / ask for passes
27. "Hey, I have nothing to do - can I walk you somewhere?"
28. Pull up chair, sit down, and check in
29. "Could you walk me home?" then check in on the walk back.
30. “Share a quesadilla with me and let’s talk!”
31. Start a conversation and then check in: "Where did you guys go tonight? I heard [club] was really fun!"
32. Pretend to *drunkenly* spill your food on the ground in front of them
33. “Can you wait in line with me? I'll let you have some of my fries!”
34. *Pretend to have just been broken up with* “He just doesn’t deserve me! Right?”
When your friend says something sexist, racist, homo/bi/transphobic:
35. "I don't get it." *deadpan stare and make them explain the joke*
36. “I disagree”
37. Invite someone to a MAVRIC meeting
38. “Sexual assault isn't a joke”
39. "What do you mean when you say that?"
40. Walk away, take some time, and decide how to talk to your friend about it
41. Downvote sexism
43. Correct misinformation
44. "You can find out about available resources at umatter.princeton.edu"
45. Let target people and groups know that they have an ally in you
46. Make sure bickerees feel comfortable saying no and that it won't affect their chances of getting in
47. Be proactive in the club to make sure members are thinking about how to prevent sexual harassment and assault
48. Make sure your bicker station/game is fun, accessible, and downplays power dynamics
49. Call out disrespect by speaking up or voting down people who degrade others
50. Reach out to a SHARE Peer to intervene or explain why a certain behavior should be considered as a problem during voting
51. Take a "not in my club" approach to prevent sexual harassment and assault
When you hear loud fighting in the room next door:
52. Knock on the door, ask if things are okay
53. Call or text RCA/DA
54. Text your neighbor for help on homework
55. If things ease up before you intervene, follow up a little later to check-in
56. Let your neighbors know you are there to help
When your friend asks for help:
57. Point them to the UMatter website
58. Help them get in touch with a SHARE Peer
59. Listen effectively and ask "what kind of support would help you right now?"
60. Walk them over to the SHARE office in McCosh Health Center