Intimacy is about connection. Each person is different, and many of us desire these different forms of intimacy to varying degrees in our relationships. Some examples of intimacy include:
Emotional Intimacy
Sharing emotions and thoughts and connecting
- Expressed through active listening, open communication and nonjudgmental support
- Can vary in intensity and change over time
- Can occur with friends, family members and significant others
How to Seek Out Consent:
Person A- “I am having a heavy day and need to vent. Are you emotionally available to listen and give advice?”
Person B- “Thank you for asking! May I ask what topics we will be chatting about? I want to make sure I'm prepared and can be there for you before I respond.”
Physical Intimacy
Close proximity and non-sexual touching
- Can be expressed in many ways, for example, hugs, handholding, touching someone on the shoulder, high fives
- Communicates affection, support, and caring
- Spending quality time together
- May or may not be a precursor to sexual intimacy
- Can occur with friends, family members and significant others
How to Seek Out Consent:
Person A- “I know you are upset right now. Can I give you a hug?”
Person B- “I’m not feeling a hug, but would really like to sit next to you and watch an episode together.”
Sensual Intimacy
Physical touch and pleasure, not including sex
- Can be expressed by a massage, huggling, kissing, cuddling
- Often accompanied by emotional or physical intimacy
- May or may not be a precursor to sexual intimacy
How to Seek Out Consent:
Person A- “I’m kind of hoping we can just make out for a while tonight?”
Person B- “Of course, I like making out. Are you okay with some skin on skin too?”
Sexual Intimacy
Intercourse or any other form of sex
- Can include touching and penetration of intimate body parts (e.g., genitalia, breasts, buttocks, upper inner thigh)
- Often accompanied by emotional or physical intimacy
- Can occur with short-term and long-term sexual partners
How to Seek Out Consent:
Person A- “Can I go down on you?”
Person B- “Yes. Can I give you some direction about what I like/what feels good?”
Intimacy is an important component of healthy relationships. Healthy intimacy, in all its forms, relies on setting clear boundaries and open communication.
If you are interested in engaging in sexual intimacy, you may want to check out the resources from UHS on sexual health to promote safer sexual practices.